蓝色

在这个属于红色的节日, 怎么心情是蓝色的?
在这非常时期, 总不能这样。
真的很不想把负面情绪带出, 但我无能为力。
到底该怎么办才好?

原来最可怕的不是失去了方向, 而是知道了方向, 却走不下去。

复杂

回家啦!
又一个学期了, 没想到这么快, 大学生活只剩半年了。
心情很复杂。
从没想过我会是听歌都会听到哭的那种人, 最近怎么了?
我怎么了? 最近最常问自己的一句话。

觉得长越大, 朋友就越多, 但真正真心交心的朋友却越来越少。
能聊天说话的, 能一起吃饭的, 能一起去玩的, 能一起疯的, 能常见面的, 来来去去就是那几个。
我没有善交集 能哈拉的手段, 也一直都觉得自己是那种很难才会打开心的人, 但一旦把心打开了, 就会全心全意的人。
也觉得自己是贪心的, 想要我对你的好跟你对我的好成正比, 但是问, 这怎么可能?
王力宏有一首歌叫'爱情不能作比较', 我突然也有一个想法, 那就是: '友情也不能作比较'吗?

跟好多人的距离越来越远, 真不希望我们会变成'喝喜酒的朋友'。
想告诉你们, 我一直都在想你们。
我知道自己没有维持一段感情的能力, 只想说, 有时候可能你踏出的一小步, 会换来我的一大步。
问我为什么不自己踏出那一步? 因为我自私, 我害怕伤害, 我懦弱。

加油吧!

I am fine.

When an angel lost her wings.
When a day dreamer decides not to dream any more.
When a fish lost its ability to swim in the water.
When the smile on your face fades.
When a clown removes his make-up.

就算自己过得再不好，不要去破坏人家的幸福。
这是原则。

Like I care.

Be myself.
Two simple words, easy to understand, but why so hard to accomplish?
Why should one lost his true self in order to accomplish other's wants and desire?
Why should one accomplish another wants and desire?
It's non of your business!
Why care about it?

面具

当你以为你很了解的人并不是你“知道”中的那样，
当你知道其实你根本不懂他时，
那种感觉不是很好受，
会觉得很陌生，
心想：其实我真的懂他吗？我真的认识他吗？

但，世上又有谁是完全懂另一个人的。
每个人都有自己不想让人看到的一面，
都会努力的为自己戴上一面别人看不到，也不想让别人看到的面具。
是防备、是私隐、是自我保护，还是不信任？

当面具备揭开时，戴面具的人究竟会感觉受伤、释怀，还是自卑？
但，被你用面具阻隔的对方，又何尝好受？
他可能会因你放下了面具来面对他而感到开心，
也可能会因你一直的自我防备而感到受伤。

到底，
你们会因为这个“坦诚相见”后而相处得更融洽，
还是会因此而在彼此间筑下了一道深不可破的鸿沟？

暴露或隐藏，选择在于你。

Little things

If you really care something, little things do matter to you, no matter how little it is.
You just can't take back what you have done, unless you have a time machine.

I did wrong, I admitted it, I apologised, I learnt, I hurt, and I grew up.
But you just can't imagine how hurt it is when things happened, plus you are at the guilty side.

When night is getting darker and darker, when there's nobody beside you, when you calm down and the scene keeps repeating on your mind, when you realised how wrong you were, when you listen carefully to your lonely, beating heart, you will realised how much you care and how hurt you are.


And you will think like, why care about it, why care about it now? Not now please!
Because you will just like retarded and couldn't do anything.
Sometimes I really wish I have a boyfriend, who can listen to me and won't laugh at me for the little things that I cared.

In a relationship, the one who care more will be the one who hurt more.

Friendship is sometimes more hurtful than love, when you really care about it.

P/s: What I had written more than a year ago. How emo was I at that moment. Cheer for life =)

Random update

The blogging mood is officially ON!
My blog is usually full of words, but somehow I understand readers, people likes to view photos and hates to read blog occupied by words (me too!).
Sometimes, I will just look at the photos at the blog and ignore those words, except for those friends who I really cared about =D
Yes, I do like to write a lot of essays at my blog.


Spent some time to investigate the Top 3 Popular Posts at my blog, which is with the most readers.

Top 1: Penang Armenian Street - Ernest Zacharevic's Paints
http://peiyin0602.blogspot.com/2012/07/penang-armenian-street-ernest.html

Top 2: 給：社服人
http://peiyin0602.blogspot.com/2012/05/blog-post.html

Top 3: I'm feeling good today
http://peiyin0602.blogspot.com/2012/05/im-feeling-good-today.html


Back to the topic, it has been a while since I sit at home and do nothing after my internship.
All my life is facebooking, instagram, eat, sleep, watch tv and read novel.
I wanted to go travel instead of rot at home, but too bad, no one wants to join me for a trip, even for a short distance vacation due time and money constraints.
Aikzz.. I am craving for a Bangkok trip badly!!!

Ops, coming September will be my last year in USM, and it will probably be the last year of study in my life!
By the way, I miss my friends at USM, looking forward to meet you all!

Gold Coast Beach - Throwback

"Throwback" - a popular word recently. My turn to use this word!    

It was 2 months ago that my cousins and I suddenly want to have a walk at Gold Coast Beach at Sepang.

It is the so called Golden Palm Tree Water Villas shown as the photo below that impossible for us to capture and only can be seen when you are on a helicopter.

Pictures are for illustration. Let's compare the above photos with the real photos that we captured below. Maybe it was due to our lousy camera and lousy skills.

Yes, I do love this photo very much.

On the rock.

A few attempts to capture photos of jumping scenes of us. 

  My lovely cousin.

 Hehe, I love this.

Captured by me. With Samsung S3 camera.

 Big head "yong sui" photos.

 The "me" in this photo doesn't look like me.

 The only group photo of us captured by an aunty at beach area.

Self-captured.

If you are around Sepang or heading to KLIA, feel free to visit this beach at Morib.
It only takes you 1 hour and 30 minutes from KL.
However, staying at the villas there is superb expensive, it takes you around RM500 per night.

Have a good day ahead =)

Countdown-ING

还有9天，我的实习就正式结束了啦。
其实有还真的有点不舍得，刚刚跟同事混得应该有8分熟了，但却又是时候说再见了。
我应该很快就会想念你们了，尤其是这个小女子：

Rachael，十年难得一见的“话很投机”的红颜知己。

少了你，我应该很难在公司里活这么久吧。
这一班同事让我对 “社会上没有人会真心诚意的对你的” 这句话改观，他们真的太棒了！

话说这个月我是白拿工钱的米虫，完全没有工作做，上班，其实就是去上网、看戏和讲话——虽然这些都是我人生中的最大乐趣。
公司没东西给我们做了，没办法，我也快要闷慌了，快发霉了。

USM 的 supervisor 迟迟没有消息，没有 supervisor 的 visit 的学生，就像没有妈妈的小孩，没有关爱与温暖，还真有点失望。
我最近爱的USM教授，你去哪里了？

倒数9天，明天工作加油（应该是上网加油！）。

好人

现在是凌晨两点钟，我正顶着一头湿湿的头发，坐在电脑前打字。
其实说真的还是觉得华语是最能表达内心真正想说的东西，所以部落格还是用华语写的比较好。
很多时候，总是写写写，然后backspace backspace and backspace，最后干脆不写了，最近常这样。

最近我们家朋友个个好像遇到很多坏人酱，他们都说人心难测，不要太相信身边的人。
其实我真的觉得自己很好运，遇到的都是好人。
实习这段期间就验证了这事实。
我遇到了很多好人。

首先，不能少提的就是我的“包租婆”啦，"包租婆"太老，"包租姐"比较恰当。
她呢，每天在我去上班，晚上又煮饭给我吃，陪我谈天解压，又给我精神上的鼓励，房租又收我少少，这么好的包租姐，哪里找？

然后就是公司里的同事，知道我没transport，所以他们要回家时都会问我要不要一起回，然后把我载到家的正门口，看我安全到家才离开。
工作不会做时找他们帮忙，他们都不会不理你，还会很有耐心地教你，在公司你一句，我一句，说笑、zat 人，废废地，一天又这样过去了，这样的同事，哪里找？

再来就是每个星期载我从芙蓉回庇劳的表弟阿铭啦！
带我去找吃、看戏、走街、shopping，陪我疯疯癫癫，听我说同事间的故事，我“狂躁症”发作时又让我发泄，这么好的表弟，哪里找？

所以说，好人很难找，但我很幸运，好人都被我遇见了。
感谢在我生命中遇到的贵人。

失恋33天

一部很好的电影。

没有俊男美女，没有庞大制作费，没有大卡司，就纯粹一部纯纯朴朴的电影。

我想，每个女孩都想遇到这样的男孩。

没有海誓山盟，没有天花乱坠、异想天开的承诺，

就一句：以后的路有我陪你。

一个会默默为你付出，嘴硬心肠软、忍得住你的任性与野蛮的男人。

值得一看的电影，强力推荐=)

“百”里之外

三年了，真的很不能接受“你”这样就拒我于“百”里之外，我还是很不能接受。

天啊，以后闷了、慌了、饿了、累了的时候，就不能走几步路就找到你们了。

没人陪我去上课，

没人陪我搭巴士，

没人陪我吃东西，

没人陪我

走路、

吹风、

说话、

读书、

大笑、

熬夜、

谈心、

看烟花。

惨了惨了，怎么办？

我接受不到咯！

素琳、瑞栴、智贤啊，我没有了你们该怎么办？？？

我要走多少步才能见到你们？

好

工作, 回家, 睡觉, 起床, 工作, 回家, 睡觉, 起床......
人生啊!

人家总问, 工作如何?
好家在一切都好, 不好的说出来风吹掉就算了， 写下的话就永远都记得了。
其实也没什么不好， 回家就好; 忍一忍, 笑一笑, 什么事都好。
但不可否认的是 读书更好。

那天与你走走聊聊, 老朋友真好。
你说, 甚至想念起了走回宿舍的那段路， 说真的, 还真的很想晚风轻拂走着的那段路。

想想, 再过一年, 就要告别校园, 友情的考验, 随即开始。
工作都够忙了，更何况是我们这一行。
到时候个个分道扬镳, 距离, 真的只是个数字罢了?

突如其来的感慨, 愿一切都还。

It's Saturday night.

I am going back to work soon.
The feeling is like "Hell, why I have to work?".
Aikzzzz... Positive thinking, please!!!

What is work for me?
To me, work is like a non-stop routine work, boring, tedious, stressful, full of responsibility, and the most important thing is:
YOUR PROBLEM IS YOUR OWN PROBLEM.
It's not like school, friends help when you are at school, they will share their knowledge and even help you to do, they won't say no to you, they are selfish-less, and the most important thing for me, they are willing to listen to you.
At work, at least until now, I found out that I have not meet anyone I can talk with.
The most funniest thing is, yesterday when I was in the office, I looked at the clock, it was 11am, and I noticed that I have not yet talk even a word to anyone since 8.15am after I entered the office.
HAHA WHY? Such a talkative person has nothing to talk?
This is not good, really not good.

During worktime, I wait for the moment to go back home, well, it's not my home actually as I am now staying at other's house, I rent a room near my work place.
And, when it comes to Friday, I feel so relieved because it's Home Sweet Home time.
The feeling is like "Oh, Thanks God It's Friday"!!!
But it's not really burdenless if you have undone work which yet to complete.
The due date is there, you can't just leave the things there and go goyang kaki
The true feeling sounds from my heart now is:
BILAKAH BULAN LAPAN MAHU DATANG?

====The end of my abreaction. Thank you. ==== 

Here starts my internship

4th of February, the first day of my internship in BDO Seremban.
Working is tiring, plus I have to back and forth from Kuala Pilah to Seremban everyday.
Heard from senior that we gonna have OT always, and fieldwork at client's place is an usual activity, which means that we have to go to work earlier and back home later.
Everyday is busy day, I only reach home after 9pm although it was only my first week.
I even forgot to check my results and only realised this when I saw people posted about results thing at Facebook.

I realised that I have to highly alert and always have a clear mind during work, if not, I gonna have to do double work and waste a lot time.
Luckily I have seniors who are willing to help me and teach me, but I heard that we will change team for every job, so I will work with different team and different seniors, hopefully other seniors also willing to help me in near future.

Now I know that why people says CNY is the best time to rest, no need to work, and can sleep well at home.
Although I have to attend to work very soon on Wednesday, but I really appreciate that I have 4 days continuously to rest.
But where is my CNY mood???

Anyway, Happy CNY everyone =)

Running Man

I started watching this variety show since September 2012, after highly recommended by Ruey Zen.
The first few episodes made me hook on it and make me cant stop watching it since then.

Thank you Running Man for the good show.

You make me laugh when I don't really wanted to.

You make me even happier when I feel happy.

You provide me a gateway to escape from the trouble though it's only for temporary. 

You let me run away from anger and sadness.

You help me to release my stress, especially during examination time.

And most importantly, you help me to fill up my free time!

Sometimes by just scrolling Running Man's page at Facebook, looking at the news of the main characters can also cheer me up.

They are not just the main characters, they are one big family who work together to bring laughters and happiness to all of their audiences.

This is really an impressive show, salute to the producers of Running Man who have the idea to make this show such successful!!!

Running Man Daebak! ♥♥♥

回顾2012。展望2013。

一年又过去了，2013，新的一年来啦。
去年的我，许了这个愿望，还有8年，加油哦！

回顾2012，发生了什么大事呢？

1月：剪了一头短发并染了颜色，开始带了隐形眼镜，过了一个好棒的农历新年。

2月：去了Jitra 找我最亲爱的，在Sungai Petani 转了转，雪奕，我好怀念姜面哦。

3月：和社服人一起办了乐乐游，很开心的一个旅程，很有意义的 Hug Game。

4月：社服之《童年记事本》快乐营，哭到半死的一个营。

5月：去了太平饶了绕，好想再去玩水哦。
          同一个月7日，乙裴离开了。想你了，你过得好吗？到现在都还很接受不到，希望你在另一个           国度过的好好的。

6月：很感动的生日惊喜，被骗到团团转的一天，21岁生日将会是难忘的一年。

7月：关丹游，哈哈哈，好玩！！！

8月：人生第一个interview。

9月：又开学啦，没什么特别，就是忙咯。

10月：Mr Liew 和 Mr Chan 毕业啦，理华迎新夜，第一次做video……点点回忆。。。

11月：人生第一次也是最后一次编篮子。

12月：忙功课，忙presentation，忙relax。

总结好说，我过了一个好年，得到了很多朋友、家人的温暖，也更懂得珍惜了。
2012许的愿没达到，说好的出国旅行呢？

话说回来世界末日没有来，我们都好好的逃过一劫。
然后刚发觉我从来没有戴过圣诞帽，然后也只Countdown 过一次新年。


2013年的愿望：
1. 我要过得比2012年好！
2. 希望家人健健康康、平平安安。
3. 开开心心地过完不知道会怎样的internship，突破自己。
4. 我要去旅行！！！